Falling in and Out of Love.

14. December. 2010
Buenos Aires

What a bewitching city!  Today, we are not speaking to one another, my lover city and I.

Just as any relationship, my journey with this wonderful city has its ups and downs.  Sometimes we are truly, madly, deeply.  Sometimes, I am revolted and ready to jump ship!

When I first arrived, a friend recently recalled a comment I made about part of what I viewed as the strange magic of the city; which its incredible ability to perch just on the edge between order and chaos.  During my honeymoon period with Buenos Aires, I viewed this unique atmosphere as one that promised possibly limitless potential.  In a city where things are not "done" yet, this means incredible potential for change and growth and progress!  Right?

This sense of change and movement and disorder that somehow "worked", I imagined with possibly naive optimism, left space for all kinds of exciting interaction by yours truly!  I was amazed and found it exhilerating, and I still often do!  But I also sometimes find it exhausting!  Yes, the spontaneity is charming.  Yes, it makes for incredible, unpredictable surprises and unscripted, beautiful encounters.  Yes, this is a context in which creativity does truly flourish.  Sometimes it seems to do so as a direct result of this barely ordered chaos.  Often, I am certain that this is a city is teaching me how to live deeply and authentically.  Without a doubt, it's giving me honest and intense lessons and exercises in patience, resourcefullness and adaptability.

But sometimes, isn't it just nice when things work?  When the bus comes on time, when you can depend on orderly process to deliver expected results?  When you know where and how to get things done?  Isn't efficiency fabulous?

Today I had a lovely lunch with a friend.  From there, I was headed to an art gallery to return some materials I'd borrowed about Aida Carballo.  (I have been having some really exciting adventures so far in my pursuit of all things Aida, I will write about that soon!)  I needed to be at this gallery by 5pm.  To be fair, I didn't leave myself enough time.  But on the other hand, even if I had left an hour, I don't know that I would have made it on time. 

Two of the main streets downtown were blocked off by protests, which is typical in "el centro", or the financial district or downtown, of Buenos Aires.  As a result, the streets that I needed to travel on to make my 25 block trip were completely jammed up.  This happens every day in downtown Buenos Aires.

Let me be clear, that I absolutely support the right of the people to demand recognition of their basic rights, as people and as workers.  But just to give you an idea of the extent of this protest culture that has been developing since the 90's here, I read in an article that according to a study done, (by Nueva Mayoria) in the last 13 years, there have been 17,417 roadblocks in Argentina.  Some say that it is to the point that these masses of people in the streets every day are infringing upon others' rights by demonstrating for their own.

I don't know.  At first, I saw all of this protesting and I thought, this is incredible.  This is what needs to happen for there to be real change in a community.  This is what needs to be going on in Washington, DC, and all over the States!  People need to be speaking up more and demanding their rights!  But then I wonder, what is progress?  And how does it come about?  I wonder if these groups are creating real change for their own situations, or if they are simply locked in this complicated dance with the city government, and taking advantage of an entity that both mistreats them and also pays out subsidies to temporarily pacify them while encouraging them to continue at the same time?

Excuse me if my views are simplistic or naive.  I'll be the first to say that I am learning, and just working through some of the ideas that are occuring to me here during my Argentine experience.

I have no answers, I'm just pondering because I never made it to my destination and my intense frustration is just now fading.  Sometimes I'm certain that Argentina is on the verge of an incredibly exciting renaissance and modernization.  And then sometimes it seems that it will always remain in this delicate, strange balance, because that's where it "works" best.  Because somehow, throughout this country's history, though it has always had all of the resources and potential to be a prosperous and important country, it has always fallen just short. 

Anyway, still, the good outweighs the bad, and I know that this season here is important for me in so many ways.  But of course in any relationship, sometimes you wonder, "....where is this going?".